People keep asking me why I am still single. After all, I am:
- A 78% attractive fellow
- Socially savvy
- Work consistently to improve myself
- Highly educated
- Have a number of beautiful women in my life
- Safe and trustworthy
- Usually the center of attention
- A rescuer of orphaned sheep
- Mysterious and deep
- Ambitious and creative
- Loved by dolphins and various woodland creatures
- Pee your pants funny (but please don’t. that’s gross)
- Loyal, Compassionate, Optimistic, etc. etc. etc., yada yada yada…
If you have some sort of overwhelming desire to know even more about me, then you really should check out my About Me page, but anyway…
The list goes on and on. Some of you may think I am being cocky right now, and that’s fair, because I often do have a tendency to be cocky, but always in a playful way. I do not take myself that seriously.
This time, however, I am simply stating things as I see them. I have worked hard to be the person I have become, and continue to be every day. I am committed to continually striving to become the absolute best I can be for both myself and for those I love. So why am I still single? A friend of mine sent me over an application and one of the questions was as follows:
Fill in the blank: I like a girl that __________
Here was my answer:
I like a girl that knows who she is, knows what she wants, is kind and compassionate but not weak, sassy and intelligent, knows when to say sorry and when to hold her ground, clever and sociable, outgoing with substance, secure with her body and sexuality, graceful and elegant, intuitive and curious, adventurous and dorky, beautiful beyond compare, crazy about me, knows how to please me in bed and always up for trying new things, a world class cuddler, supportive, has her own life and friends, picks up on subtle hints and comes up with great surprises, able to rough it, optimistic and devoid of complaint, flirty and flexible, knows how to prioritize her life, lets go of the past and moves forward, takes time to figure herself out so she stops making the same mistakes over and over, in touch with her emotions but not overly emotional, creative, able to agree to disagree and acknowledge both sides of an argument, takes naughty pictures and sends them to me when we are apart, generous, fierce, takes care of her body for her and for me, has a strong healthy sex drive, solid in her identity but always open to new ideas to continue growing as a person, makes erotic noises while having sex, has passion in her kisses, finds beauty in her surroundings no matter where she is, loves to travel, spontaneous, able to make her own decisions independently from what her friends and family think, takes risks, and overall is a kick-ass awesome person.
So, as you can see, I am still single because that kind of woman is harder to find than the proverbial needle in the haystack. Perhaps I have already met her, or maybe she is in ….Finland…. and I will meet her on my next voyage around the world? Maybe she is reading this right now?* Who knows?
But I do know that when she does find me, she will appreciate how picky I am, and all the work I’ve done in shaping the perfect man for her.
* If so, stop reading this right now and get over here!